RELAX RElAx RELax RElax Relax relax....

A day at the beach and the soccer Field can really take your mind in to a zen like mode. Hayden had soccer this morning and we all went. Hunter toddled around after his mini soccer ball in his muddy buddy and found the soccer nets fascinating but soon realized that it was like a toddler spider web. Then we picnicked on the beach, with the dog and children digging in the sand splashing at the shore and just sitting and taking the view of families playing together, sunbathers, a Wedding, and dogs gone wild at the dog park. RELAX......Then we came home children napped I had a glass of wine and RELAx... Then I made a Cunucks game dinner and we all ate and watched Hockey like a true Canadian family RElax..... Took the boys and the dog to the park for a night cap game of catch and swings and the dog digging a hold the size of a car down to the liner under the wood chips Relax.....home to Cunucks winning game 2 and boys off to bed sitting here with my thoughts relax.......Still hard not to think of my current events of my life but days like today sure make you feel a little better and get you through.

One beautiful moment brought to you by Hayden.....

Hayden had a belt ceremony for his martial arts class he now is a proud green belt. three belts in less then a year, but you know what the greatest thing he went from a unsure, careful, and cautious little boy to a confident risk taker.

One beautiful moment brought to you by Hunter....

Hunter decided it was time to test the water in the lake he keep saying wa wa wa wa over and over so I let him try his toes I knew it would be cold first nice day in along time he tried and LOVED it wanted to sit and squish in the the mud on the shore and just explore I had to coax him out because his feed were red from the cold he wasn't happy but it made me a proud mother of a muddy, pound exploring frog catching boy.

The phone call

Today its hard to find the words to type this blog. It all sated with a phone call as all bad news seams to happen. When I answered it within minutes it changed my life forever.

Its hard to tell you what the phone call was about without first telling you a little about my past, I try not to go there too much as it way easier leaving in...well the past. When I was little I spent allot of my childhood in foster care in different foster homes lets just say Mom my wasn't able to give me proper care. Well the foster homes didn't always give me proper care as some where good and most were bad, but my saving grace was a wonderful woman who I often refer to as my second mom for her privacy Ill just call her mom. She started out as a support for my mom and us (my sister and brother) and quickly became my Support, Guidance, Love and Normality in my life. She was more then a social worker to me I love her and she loves me. When I was little I would spend allot of time at her house with her family and when I would go back to my foster home I would close my eyes really tight and dream about living with her. We even kind of look alike. I remember and if you are reading you probably remember too that once we talked about adoption and how I wish my mom would adopt me to someone ( deep inside I only wished it was you.) I remember when I as 16 and didn't want to be in foster care any more I decided it was time to move out on my own, how terrifying that must have been for you, but you supported me and taught me how to manage money, do banking, shopping and take care of my self. When I made the wrong choices you never said I told you so or made me feel bad you just loved me and helped me reflect and move forward. I remember when I was 18 and moving off to collage in the big city, I told you I didn't want to go, I was scared and felt along but you had not part in that you said Tanya it time to just go and this will always be here but you need to go now or you will never go and make you life better. I went and changed my life, met my husband and my other family and made my life way better. I remember when I was 20 and my brother died you where there for me every step of the way bought shoes for me took care of my schooling and supported me. I had planned on moving to B.C. after grad and I said to you I just cant go and you said you need to just go and make you life for you not anyone else. You helped me pick out hiking boots, a back pack, and gave me a great outdoor jacket and I went and thanked you for with every memory I built. You have been there for my though everything through the tears pain and the happy times. You created the stability and support i needed to grow into who I am and for that I am truly grateful and I will always love you and know that even if you didnt adopt me you are my MOM. I know we don't always talk as much as we should but sometimes when you love someone you don't have to say anything for them to know.

Back to the rest of you the phone call was from mom it was 1:45 pm I had this gut feeling it wasn't good I tough it was a death with someone. But I found out it was worse she told me she had lung Cancer and it was pretty aggressive she sounded so week sad and scared. For the first time in my life the one person who I leaned on for support was no longer at her strongest what do you do?? I couldnt get the words I needed to say out all I could say is I wish I could take it all away and make it better. I am not sure how to feel or to think I just want to wrap my arm around her and hold her tight. When your young you think your parents or Guardians are eternal and will live forever I was so sad the day I realised they would die before me and now I am even sadder that I have to watch some one I care about suffer. I cant write anymore I need to cry drink a glass of wine and go to bed.

Good night Mom I love you.

This is on my wedding and I am telling her how much I love her.

Beautiful brought to you by Hunter

Today's beautiful moments brought to you by Hunter:

While at the park we decided it was time for some bubble, casing fun. Hunter loves chasing the bubbles and discovered that when they land on the grass and wood chips they last longer. Well at least long enough for his chubby little body to toddler over and for him to carefully bend over and slap his chubby little hands on them to burst them, as his face brighten up into a beautiful smile. Today as I was helping another child up I turned to see Hunters shoe fall off he stopped, looked down, carefully bent down (still a little wobbly with that skill), picked up his shoe, toddled over to a collection of bubbles, and raised his arm with shoe above his head and wapped the bubbles with it giggle and toddled off to the next batch of bubbles. This made me laugh so hard, my funny boy.

Just before dinner tonight Hunter grew extremely tired of waiting for food and showed this by yelling and signing eat, eat, eat over and over. So I gave him some tortilla chips, he disappeared then returned a few minutes latter signing eat, eat, eat then pointed to the cupboard where he knew hosts the chips. I gave him more, kind of curious how he ate them so fast I decided to watch him with out him knowing. He toddles in to the living room straight to the dog! (crap I knew it) I am about to give the drooling dog and toddler trouble when I decide to watch. Hunter has one chip in each hand and a huge smile comes across his face he lifts booth hand above his head the dogs head goes up (the look on his face ha it worked again) His hands go down the dogs head goes down, hands up head up, hands down head down. Hunter is amazed of his new power and chuckles through the mouth of chips as he about to awards the dog for the wonderful performance with a chip I barge in and ruin the fun. (I laughed before I got serious and broke up the reward)

These are the moments that make you love them even more then you thought you could.

Beautiful

There are certain times thought the day when my heart warms and a smile come across my face from something so utterly beautiful and it makes me almost sigh.

Today's beautiful moments brought to you by my children
A group hugging session is always a great way to break up the afternoon fog. Today my toddlers decided to give round of hugs and snuggle to me and they enjoyed this quite a bit.

Four toddlers giggle out loud so hard the hole park looks as the ride on a rocker on the beach.

Hunter leaning in for a slobbery kiss closing his eyes tight and making sure he uses his sound effects mMMMMMM.

Hunter saying cho cho for every mechanical noise he hears outside.

Hunter toddling around is is blue rain suit his check jiggling as he goes OMG so very cute.

Hayden kissing his brother goodnight rubbing his head and saying I love you have a good sleep.

The unconditional love from a child's heart you feel even when words are not spoken just through those big innocent eyes gazing at you.

Take the time to reflect on your beautiful moments and you ll be surprised on how many you can find in you no so beautiful days.

A day in the sun

My Husband and I decided to have a date and go out for a drink well maybe 3-4. Great evening sitting at Boston Pizza watching UFC eating wings drinking beer, I actually didn't pay much attention to UFC but the people and action around me was my entertainment. There was the fat guy and the redneck funny that every time there was a fighter on that was overweight the the fat guy always had a taunting remark about how slow or hard it was for him to move around. Then the group of guys that are happily drunk and getting whip lash every time a hot server would walk by, Then the other couple newly dating and very awkward not to mention both speaking a different language and using broken English as their common language. Then the family (random) with a 10 year old kid sitting directly behind us asking very awkward questions.

I know when you think of a romantic date UFC fight night doesn't come to mind but sometime you just need to what the other wants to do and compromise. I mean how romantic is is seeing two guys throw them selves around the ring in very tight short with very ripped bodies and getting all sweaty. Okay maybe it wasn't that bad to watch.

After this exciting part we went to a local dive bar down the street and drank with the locals had the bartender buy us drinks for me inventing a new name for vodka and ginger ale a dirty Doug and a bitch after getting everyone into a roar of laughter I had gained the respect and attention of the bartender a old 80s skier and a young whistler local and we spend over and hour swaping whistler skiing and life stories.

Then it was time to stumble home and pay the baby sitter and pass out cold satisfied from a fun night out, no regrets... until 6 am when Hunter awakes....... I open one eye, then the other, moan roll over, pass off the getting out of bed to my husband who also moans and groans all the way to bottle making and baby waking. I just cant do it as much as I try I cant get up oh god Hangovers and children don't mix why oh why. Groan Groan okay gotta get up its only fair I get up and stumble down stairs and sit down on the couch and then slowly make my way to laying down and my eyes are way to heavy, cant stay awake, I am useless for another hour or two. Thank god for great Husbands who get up with the kids and make breakfast. The least I could do is go get up now and go to the beach with the family and you know what I am happy did because the sun was shinning, the kids were so happy to play in the sand while to dog dug up lost toys. what a perfect day that started a little ruff around the edges. I love watching the kids working on sandy projects getting all dirty and using their imaginations.I love watching Hunter toddle around defining his new skill of walking. I love sitting in the hot sun and playing ball with my boys while overlooking the mountains and water. ahhhhh. I think well maybe I can get though handovers and end up with a great day but I am not making a habit of it.

some photos from today:

The boys and their beach play

Hunter with his favorte acsessory babababalll

Doug and Layla watching the train comming in.

Hayden and Hunter ending a great day with a snorkle bubble bath.