I Cried!!!

Today was the day I cried< I don't do it often but when I do it means something and usually is allot of things build up. It happened in the Kitchen just after I sent the kids to bed and Hayden was watching a movie I opened the fridge and knelt down and cried. I cried hard sobbing with big wet tears rolling down my face dripping on to the floor, sobbing I cant do this what am I doing.....
I cried because Doug's in Invermere without us and I miss him so much, I cried because I am all alone and I just barley keeping it together, I cried because of our financial sate and I am so tired about worrying about money, I cried because I feel like I am not being a Great Mom and I am giving my children only 1/2 of what I want to, I cried because I am not being a great Teacher to my home day care kids (will just not as happy as I use to be, I cried because I don't have all the answers and I wish that I did, I cried because I know change is good but its so hard until things do change, I cried because I want people around me that support me instead I have to type out how I feel.After I cried I picked my self up closed the fridge shook it off and, I felt a little better and then I decided that I had the controls of my life and I will make things happen not matter how hard they are and EVERY THING WILL BE OKAY.
Beautiful Moments by Hunter.......
Today i caught Hunter running around with the phone in hand he was holding it up to his ear and saying "HI HI" I asked him who he was talking to he said "DADA"

My Twin Boys

Well they do look so much alike so here's photos of them at the same age.
Hayden as a baby....



Hunter as a baby....


Hayden as a Toddler.....

Hunter now as a Toddler.....


Amazing they look so much alike they could pass as twins only separated by 5.5 years.

Busy Days

Well today was a very busy day in fact today and yesterday were booth busy but in different ways.
Yesterday I had my two kids and dog to care for and on top of that Hayden had a very busy schedule of Soccer Camp, Swimming Lessons and a Birthday Party. By the end of the day I was ready for the kids to make me dinner, wash me up and rub my back and put me to sleep. They were not so convinced, so we went out for Sushi. Hunter now quite enjoys avocado rolls, Edaemame Beans, Tofu and rice and Miso Soup. It was funny watching him with the Edaemame beans he was not interested in the beans I so carefully popped out of the shell and picked apart so he would not choke. Instead he wanted to eat them like we did, by chewing on the shell to pop out the beans, while doing this breathing very heavily (concentrating) and saying UMMMMM.

Today was very busy because I had 4 toddlers and 1 seven, sorry almost seven year old. I brought Hayden to Soccer Camp raced home meet my day care kids in the driveway (GREAT!) and rushed in the house to set up while they unpacked their things. Meanwhile Hunter is running around greeting them in a very stinky diaper (EVEN BETTER). After apologizing for being late and sliding the story of Hunter pooping on the go excuse the smell, The parents left and the kids and I changed diapers, ate snack, sang songs, and played with toys. While the kids napped I thought well now's the perfect time to clean out the kitchen and scrub it down to get ready for our move ( I keep the thinking that any moment someone is going to wake up and I will be elbow deep in kitchen gunk) Sure enough Hayden comes home and wants lunch, and Hunter wakes up and wants me and well more the buba then me. I get this ready clean up my kitchen mess prepare 5 snacks and waters, wake 4 toddlers change them ,sunscreen them, and set out for the beach. They beach was and interesting time with four toddlers all trying their hardest to drown themselves, while my almost seven year old is off fishing with a net on the dock. After and hour of chasing them around and saving them form their death wishes, I decided Okay that's enough its time to go. I heard 4 sandy toddlers to the stroller, try and tidy up, pack up, and rub sand off them. I end up with three in diapers for the walk home, they must of looked real cute, me on the other hand must of looked like they worn out hair all over the place sandy and sweaty caregiver with way to many kids. After rushing around to get them washed up diapers changed and packed up I manage to get everyone out my door by 6 and I feed my kids clean them walk the dog and put everyone to bed.
I guess what I mean by this is that I think I like having my two kids and the dog the most. I can appreciate all the little things they do and enjoy all their busy and not so busy moments much more. I really look forwards to only having them to myself in my time off in Invermere and eventually working less to spend more time being their mom and a good wife.

Beautiful moments by Hayden and Hunter...........
Tonight when the day care kids were leaving I said see you next week and all I hear from little Hunter is EEEOOOOONESTWEEK. I couldn't believe it he really tried a four word sentence my smart little toddler. More and more the words are coming, and everyday a new word.

Tonight while on our walk with the dog we stopped to watch some guys fly fish off the dock. Of course Hayden was so curious and wanted to watch until he could see them catch a fish. I have to admit I was trying to rush him off , but one of the guys said to him " Hey little guy want to reel in my fish" his face lit right up and he ran to him so excited (glad I didn't rush him away) the guy handed him his rod and explained how the reel it in. He very seriously and slowly reeled in the fish, while they guy explained to him what the lore looked like and how if works. When Hayden got the fish in, the guy picked up then small fish ( in Hayden's eyes it must have been 10 feet long) and as he unhooks it it jumps out of his hand, hops around on the dock, and pops back into the water. This made Hayden's week he had the biggest smile ever and talked about this experience with great pride and of course asked me for a fishing rod for his birthday.
Only 24 more days to go...

Being chassed by Ducks in a pool of Strawberries on Canada Day!

It seams like this weekend flew by, I am so happy to actually say that because maybe I ll wake up and Doug will be on his way to get us! We had a great weekend very busy as usual with two boys.

We celebrated Canada Day watching the Whistler Canada Day Parade FREEZING our buts off, Yes I said freezing it was 10 degrees out seriously!! I remember looking at a friends pictures of Canada Day in Ontario and they were happily cooling off in the lake. I had to go home after the Parade and make coffee and Hot chocolate because our hands and feet we red from the chill in the air. Hunter was very Cute during the Parade he got very excited for all that went by ex specially anyone with balloons, cars, bikes and horses. He waved and danced and chased after candy. Hayden was very clever and watched for all who had any loot to give out, he made sure to run up to them and get whatever they had and extra for his little brother. Then we went home Hayden had a play date Hunter napped. After dinner we went back to the village for fireworks. I was smart brought snack and most importantly ear muffs. I was surprised in Hunters reaction to the fireworks I was expecting that he may be scared or cranky afterall it was 10:30pm. For the first 10 min all he could do is point to the fireworks in the sky with his mouth wide open and chip in hand. Then booth boys cheered and Hunter screamed with excitement and danced.

Saturday was Pancake breakfast at a friends and a birthday party for Hayden's friend

Sunday our Fun day we made it out to Pemberton between the rain we picked strawberries and played with farm animals.

Hunter was excited to see the chickens and ducks and actually said chick and duck and of course called everything else with four legs Layla (our dogs name).

Hayden was on a roll picking strawberries and made sure to carefully inspect before putting them in his bucket only the best strawberries passed. Hunter on the other hand had a whole other idea of how things go in a strawberry field... First off he was shocked about all of his favorite food surrounding him with nobodys stopping him he decided to go all out on a strawberry frenzy. Between the fist fulls of strawberries, dirt and stems Hunter was shouting with excitement and chucking berries in to a bucket but eating them faster then adding them. By the time we were done his face was full of strawberries and dirt, I was so worried he was going to throw up.

After we were finished at the farm, we went swimming. I am tired and booth boys are sleeping water logged and full of berries dreaming of Ducks swimming after them in a pool of strawberries.

Happy Canada Day, Only 26 more days to go!!!